Why do I want to help?
On a rainy Monday morning, just a few days before Thanksgiving of 2007, we accepted the referral of a beautiful girl in India. We’d already met road blocks and detours along our adoption journey, so we were thrilled to finally file an official acceptance.
We started assembling our Dossier and collecting the required paper work, documents, apostilles, etc., and I quickly realized what others meant when they said that adoptive parents are “paper pregnant.” I swear I even woke up with morning sickness a few days!
After getting everything together, including a birth certificate for my British-born husband (very difficult to track down this side of the Atlantic, BTW), our court documents arrived safely in India and all we had to do was wait for our court date. We were so excited that everything was falling into place–even the finances were working out.
Just as parents who are expecting biological babies, we began planning the nursery and discussing names. Her picture was kept on our refrigerator, along with our other children’s pictures, and we couldn’t wait to meet this little one we prayed for every single day.
And on a Sunday afternoon in January, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the caller ID. It was our agency! We were expecting a call any moment telling us that our court date had been approved and we could officially call this little girl our own.
But it wasn’t the news we were expecting.
After months of preparing, planning, and praying, we lost our little Indian princess.
We weren’t given an answer as to what happened, only that she had suddenly fallen ill. I was told that because they weren’t certain of her condition, she was no longer available for adoption. I was also told she would likely have special needs. Of course, already having a child with special needs, I quickly assured them that we were still open, but it didn’t matter.
It took awhile to heal from that loss. I never knew that I could become so attached to this child on the other side of the world. It didn’t matter that she was born on a different continent or to another biological mother. I hated that she was sick and hurting and I couldn’t do anything to help her.
After losing “Baby Bethany,” and being a special needs mama to my boys, I have an even bigger heart for adoption, specifically towards those with special needs. The reality is that it’s very difficult for these children to find families, where they have a chance to thrive. And those families who are willing often lack the money needed to finance the adoption.
All they know is that God has called them, and they step out in faith.
When I learned that my friend Rebecca was adopting two girls through Reece’s Rainbow, I wanted to help. My friend Bianca had already adopted a precious baby boy with Down Syndrome through the same ministry, and while I was able to help a little, my blog community was in its very early days. Now that it’s growing, I want to do something! While I can never bring home my Bethany, I can use this platform to help bring home these two girls.
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