When I started blogging, every online activity and experience was exciting! I loved the giveaways, networking, comments, and couldn’t imagine why other women talked about quitting, shutting down their social media sites, and leaving the blogosphere behind. Week after week I heard of a burned-out blogger.
Fast forward a few years, and I understand.
For the Burned-Out Blogger
Blogging and writing take work, time, and effort. It’s easy to get sucked into the abyss of online space, later trying to figure out where the day went. It’s also easy to compare your site to another, wondering if you’re having any sort of impact whatsoever.
And while you’re wondering if you’re having any sort of impact, you may feel as though you’re letting down your family and children, especially if you’re a homeschool mama.
I’ve been there. I’ve felt the exhaustion of wondering how I would contribute to a group giveaway, follow-up with a network, and complete a project that had swirled around in my thoughts for so long that I can barely remember the original intent.
I told my husband that I was going to take a break for a year. He laughed.
Why? Because he knows there’s a reason why I started blogging, and it had nothing to do with giveaways, e-book projects, stats, website design, or following any of the rules of blogging.
He knows I started because I want to build community, and I hate the idea of other women feeling that they’re going about this mothering thing alone.
Last year I took an online break. I even questioned if I should continue blogging. During this time, I finally read Balanced, an e-book written by my friend Tricia. I highlighted so many passages, that I immediately told my other blogging friends that they needed to get it ASAP. (If you have Tricia’s e-book, I also suggest looking at the accompanying workbook).
When I took the break, I was weary. I love writing and have written since I could successfully use my mom’s typewriter. I think my earliest formal piece was the household newsletter when I was eight-years-old.
As the years went on, I filled notebooks with stories, journaled, and loved feeling creative. Most people who know me think I’m an extrovert. While I can chat and talk with folks in a small group setting, large crowds overwhelm me, and asking me to speak in front of a group will leave me mentally huddled in a corner. I’ve come a long way since my childhood! Back then, I was the painfully shy, awkward girl who most of the other kids bullied.
Social situations frightened me, but writing helped me to process things and to make sense of the world. And as an adult, writing continues to help me work through thoughts and unravel emotions. After I read my Bible, hear a sermon, etc. I look forward to writing what’s on my heart. It helps bring everything together.
During my break, I quickly realized that writing/blogging isn’t the issue–social media and other blogging expectations are.
I love using social media as a tool to connect with my readers, but I was shocked to realize how noisy my mind had become, and I could trace the majority of it to my personal FB. I didn’t even see my favorite pages and blogs anymore, but rather a bunch of advertisements and meaningless visual overload.
So I stepped away and gave it to God. If I needed to quit altogether, I would. I wasn’t going to sacrifice my family on the altar of trying to meet expectations that didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
During the break, the very things that were laid on my heart rose to the surface. I watched a young mom cry out during a small prayer circle. She felt alone and was struggling with depression. I read an e-mail from a mom who felt completely isolated. And another e-mail from a woman who felt that she’s a failure and can’t homeschool her son with ADHD.
And that got me.
We’re all in different seasons of life. If you believe that you’re being led to stop blogging and writing about the things you love, by all means, DO! Stop! Immediately! But if you’re on the fence, take a step back to see what’s really going on.
As my friend Tricia wrote a couple of times in her e-book, “God will never lead you to something that will take away from your family.”
I love reading books and listening to message from older women who’ve mothered their children and made it through the “trench years.” I’m thankful that these ladies wrote their experiences to share with us who often wonder if we’re doing a good job.
I’m also thankful for the ladies who are still running the race, who are there to say, “I’m right here with you! You’re not alone! Let’s do this together!”
To the mom homeschooling a special needs child, I get it! I understand the tears from the rough days and celebrating the successes of the good.
To the mom struggling with postpartum depression or who feels overwhelmed, I understand the guilt you may feel and the fear of what people may think when you ask for help.
As for the mom trying natural remedies for the first time, I remember the intimidation but also the excitement of seeing that herbs do work!
And to the mom who often wonders if she’s mothering her little ones correctly, I think every mom can understand!
Why will I keep writing?
Because I can’t get these burdens off of my heart. So that the moms who are in this same season know they aren’t alone—you’re not running this race by yourself. Moms who are just joining in this season of children have someone who’s been there, cheering them along as they find their own footing.
And of course the ministries! I love spreading awareness of special needs orphans, raising funds for their Forever Families, and hopefully see them adopted! The folks being Gospel for Asia, Compassion, The Seed Company, and more, use our voices to help spread their messages.
So that my children get to hear about other families like us, they learn of the needs of children from around the world, and realize we are very blessed. And I’ve created a virtual scrapbook of our family’s adventures!
Plus, I need the encouragement, too. You know how pastors will stop in the middle of a sermon and say, “I’m preaching to myself, too”? That’s how I feel about my writing. Many times what I share with you are my own struggles, trusting that God is working it out. A couple of weeks ago, I read an article, but I didn’t take note of the author until I realized that I recognized the words! I wrote it two years ago, and it was just what I needed to read now!
Will I ever meet the unwritten guidelines or follow the same path as many “bigger bloggers”? Probably not.
And that’s OK.
To the blogger who feels weary, go ahead and take a step back—what’s really pulling you down? Do you need to stop blogging altogether? Or have you simply forgotten your purpose?
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Your honesty on this topic is refreshing! I began a blog in 2005 that was quickly gaining readers and “making it.” Only… it became an altar upon which I saw myself sacrificing the very things that I encouraged other women to pursue! I stepped back, allowed God to speak loudly into my life, and reaffirmed my calling. Today, I am quite happy with a tiny little corner of the blogosphere and an audience of primarily folks who know me irl. Some days I covet, but then I look around and see what I have gained in focusing more here, now. It is worth it!
Thanks so much for visiting. 🙂 I tend to be a perfectionist and found myself stressed because I couldn’t keep up with what I felt was expected of me as a blogger. I felt much better after letting it all go, realizing that the audience I’m meant to have is already here. 🙂 And as other moms need to be encouraged in something specific, and if my words can be instrumental in turning their hearts back to their own purposes, they usually find their way here without my needing to knock myself out trying to reach them.
Thank you so much for this. And for your blog. I, too, had to take a break at the end of last year and re-evaluate why I was blogging. I felt like I was doing something wrong by not having a huge following and even had a friend stop talking to me because her blog took off and mine didn’t and she felt we were no longer in the “group”. It hurt. My first post this year was about why I feel the Lord has me blogging and many of them are the same reasons you have above.
I went through depression while I was pregnant and suffered more after the birth of my daughter. People literally did not understand. It was your blog that made me feel like I wasn’t going crazy and that maybe us mamas are expecting too much of ourselves. I appreciate your blog and your writing. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Oh wow, Amanda! First off, I’m so sorry that you felt out of the inner circle with your friend. I’ve watched several other bloggers deal with this, too, and it’s hurtful. And thanks for the encouragement! Yes! This is the reason why I’m here. 🙂 I hope you’re feeling better, and I plan to write a few more posts in the future about the realities of postpartum.
Thanks. I am doing better but have really struggled with my hormones since (they were messed up before). I am working through it with oils and diet. It is helping but is just a slow process. I still struggle talking about it so I am grateful for your openness. I tried blogging about my experiences through it once but people really took it the wrong way and I felt like they thought I was having a pity party.
I wish more women were aware that depression can happen during pregnancy and were equipped to deal with it (doctors included)…and how quickly post-partum can hit. My daughter was 6 months old when it happened to me and I thought I was past the stage it could happen. I want other women to know that they aren’t alone and that there are things they can do to help the symptoms. And, more than that, for women to see the need to help each other and to see the needs around them. I loved reading how you have a mother’s helper come in after your babies are born and wish I had done that. Such a simple solution. I had a wonderful friend who took my 6 mo old for a week while I was going through it all. It was such a blessing to be able to rest (she’s not a sleeper, lol).
I look forward to reading more from you and will be praying for you, both as a mom and as a blogger. =)
That’s a great friend! The woman I met a couple of months ago had a 4 month old and thought she was also beyond the point of PPD. I was told that women are at risk during the entire first year, and a friend of mine read that it can occur up to 2 years after birth, depending on hormonal fluctuations. Every woman different.
Thank you so much for these encouraging words. I’ve recently started blogging again after taking a break. Somehow writing is something I have to do just like breathing so I had to come back
I totally understand!! 🙂
Loved this post!! I can definitely relate to the feelings you shared, and even though I’m down to only my youngest being at home & homeschooling him, I still struggle at times with balancing it all. The thought of just quitting all my blogging has entered my mind more than a few times! But I guess I now feel that I’m at the point of being an “older woman” who should be teaching the “younger women” what God has taught me over 33 years of parenting, and 31 years of homeschooling. Even though my kids are mostly grown, I can still relate to the fatigue of moms with little ones! 🙂
I’m glad you’re still around. 🙂 I’m also glad that you’ve taken the time to share your heart with other moms! Your site has been an inspiration to me on several occasions!
First of all, thank you, Sara, for sharing your heart – your words felt like they were coming straight from mine!
But Kathie, sounds like we’re in the same “trench”. I’m down to my “baby” (7th grade) at home, the next two up are in high school but taking dual enrollment classes, so I’m not active in the teaching process with them. And then we have two grown and married kiddos we homeschooled all the way, too.
Even after 21 years of homeschooling, some days I’m still surprised to be the “older woman” to whom you refer 😉 I’m definitely going to check out your blog!
To you both: warmest wishes for a blessed and fulfilling 2017!
Thanks for your words of encouragement, Pat. Kathie has a heart for reaching other moms, and I know you’ll love her blog.
Sara, I LOVE this post! You articulated so many of the thoughts that I have about blogging and writing.
Good for you for stepping out of the box and following your calling, and your heart, as a wife and mama.
Love the quote by Tricia… I agree 100%
Thanks, Kristy!! BTW, there are SO many awesome quotes from her e-book! I couldn’t stop highlighting. 🙂
I do get weary sometimes, but when I prioritize, everything works out as it should
Yes! Definitely keep those priorities in order. 🙂
LOVE this, Sara Elizabeth! Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the things we bloggers are “supposed” to do, and discouraged by how slowly my blog is growing, but then I remember my WHY.
If I can glorify Jesus on my little corner of the web and be one more voice declaring His glory, it’s worth it.
Amen! 🙂
Thank you for this. I don’t want to quit either – for the same reasons as you. But I have been feeling so much of that “mental clutter” lately that I want to step away and hide from it all. I needed the reminder that God is going to bring the people He wants to read my words – it’s not my job to go out and drag them in. Ahh…the peace of remembering that once again. I just can’t tell you how much I needed this.
Thanks for sharing your heart, MaryEllen. 🙂 Yes, it’s such a relief to step back and remember that I don’t need to knock myself out. 🙂
I absolutely needed this today. I am a fairly new blogger and small at this time. I have spent hours researching how to grow the blog. From ebooks and giveaways, to maintaining my newsletter and having to post on FB 10 times a day, it just seemed so daunting and overwhelming. I felt called to write, and the “business” part of blogging just brought me down. I prayed for direction and asked The Lord to reveal His purposes for my blog. Your post just gave me a little nudge in the right direction. Thank you for sharing.
Awww, I love this! 🙂 I’ve seen bloggers with small readerships who have had tremendous reaches! Just as I’ve seen bloggers with huge numbers with little reach. BTW, I know a blogger who never even had a FB page! She only had her one blog, and she had a tremendous reach! Many women were inspired by her blog, and I often saw her articles shared across the web. She’s no longer blogging but it wasn’t because of burnout, but rather needing to re-direct her creativity elsewhere. Have a blessed day. 🙂
I’m taking a step back right now, actually. I love blogging- I really do. I think part of the issue, for me, anyway, is that I’m unsure of where my little online space is going. I know what I’d like it to be, but it’s not where it has been before. You know? So I’m trying to figure out how to merge the two, and if I even can… and if I can’t, it will take a long time to build this community again.
And another part of it is that I’ve noticed myself getting caught up in the numbers- the pageviews, the clicks, the shares. And that’s not where I want to be.
Yes, it’s easy to get caught up in those things. 🙂 I’ve found that when I focus more on content, those other aspects fall into place. Of course, that’s easier said than done sometimes. 🙂
Wow. So beautifully written. I guess the ultimate take away is to listen to be true to yourself and listen to your heart. And honestly, I think that’s what truly makes a great blog anyway: writing the truth in one’s heart. That’s where connections are made.
Absolutely! 🙂
Well said. I’m relatively new to the blogging scene but am having issues with time management and my reasons for blogging already. I appreciate your candor. I found you at Giving Up on Perfect.
Thanks for visiting! 🙂 I remember my early, early days and have great memories. 🙂 Yes, determine what’s important to you and what goals you want to accomplish through blogging and don’t let yourself be swayed. 😉 Have a blessed day!
I have had this same conversation with so many blogger friends over the past year or so. Actually, I just had this conversation with a good friend this morning! I’m looking forward to taking time to evaluate my online commitments this year and scaling back on the “other” – giveaways, sponsored posts, etc. Thank you so much for linking up to WFMW!
It was after having a conversation about this with one of my best bloggy friends and hearing how she could relate to all of the behind-the scenes madness. It can be insane. 🙂 Of course there’s a balance though. 🙂 I love being able to bless my readers with great giveaways and products, too. I think I started to feel overwhelmed by all of the many different avenues available.
Thank you so much for your transparency! I started blogging a couple years ago as a creative outlet and to encourage other mamas out there also. Like you I process my thoughts so much better after I have written them down and most of my posts are about what God is teaching me. Lately I have felt overwhelmed seeing how much work there is to do if you want to promote your blog. I never want blogging to come before my family. I really don’t know a lot about the technical side of blogging and have considered giving up this year but then I know that I just love to write, it’s apart of me. So whether big or small I want to be faithful with what God has called me to do. Thanks for your encouragement and the opportunities you have given me to have a voice here on your blog!!
I remember the romance of my first foray into the martial arts world as a teenager. I was in love. For the first time in my life I excelled at something that required coordination. I couldn’t wait to get my black belt. As I continued to learn I saw many people quit. Several had already put in 4-7 years of commitment and reached their red belt, and many had been black belts for a decade or more. I just didn’t understand how they could lose their passion. They had worked so hard! Ten years later I knew exactly what they felt. It’s in those moments you have to decide: is this still a priority for me or will it become part of my past?
It seems that everything worth pursuing is full of seasons: motherhood, faith, marriage, family relationships, ministry, hobbies. We have to remember that its ok if some of the less important things don’t last a lifetime, or need to be set aside for a time.
I am in love with your friend’s quote, “God will never lead you to something that will take away from your family.” As a beginning blogger, and busy young mom this is so appropriate for my season.
Thank you so much for your sharing your heart on this!
Thank you so much for opening your heart. I am feeling burned out. I was/am thinking about shutting down my blog. But I love it too much!! It’s like one of my babies. Like you, it helps me to think and sort things out. I feel unnoticed. But after reading this, I’ve realized I’ve steered away from the purpose of my blog, and that’s to lead moms to Christ and give them hope for the future. I wanted to help other moms with something I struggle with. I have depression and it tends to affect my family. I tend to be no fun. Lately, my posts have been more of a vent than a help. It’s time to get back to God’s Word!! Thank you for your post! You have truly helped me realize that I’m not alone and that I can do this through Christ.
I’m sure I’ve told my husband that I was just going to shut it all down more times than I can remember. 😉 I never expected this post to resonate with so many. You’re definitely not alone. 🙂
I stumbled upon this post just as I am about to pick things up again in my life. It was a great reminder 🙂 Thank-you for still blogging!!
Thanks, Sara Elizabeth, for this healthy perspective! I’m needing to take a break myself. I have a busy real life ministry as a pastor’s wife and church leader, and am a mom to 2 young adult/teen kids and 1 “adopted” one. My two girls take lots of emotional and spiritual energy.
So I’m hearing the Lord through you today! I think for me also, it’s not the writing, it’s the social media. Can’t quite figure out how to organize my time for that.
I’ve started using Hootsuite scheduling and Tailwind for social media. It’s helped tremendously. That way I can come back to it later and actually interact with folks and be social. 😉 Thanks for visiting.
This breath of truth is helpful to me as I also assess this balance between REAL life and writing life. The sense that we’re all reading each other and being encouraged sits heavy in the balance against the offsetting truth that there are people out there with needs that I can only help to meet if I push my chair back from the computer table and get my hands dirty.
May God give us wisdom to use this one wild and precious life in the way that is most glorious for Him.
Absolutely true!!! I want to be able to reach locals while also reaching others across the miles.
I’ve taken a step back a time or two; I’ve thought about quitting…. but then I realized that really I was just down about comparing myself and my blog to other bigger bloggers. Silly really because I mostly blog for myself and to reach out to those that read my blog; not to make money. Sure it would be nice but not if I have to sacrifice my time, my ideals and my family. I like where I am and just keep reminding myself to take the blog day by day. IF I stop posting for a week my readers will be there when I get back to it.
YES!!!! It was a mom-blogger who helped me see that I could homeschool my littles, and I’m so glad she took the time to share her days. Thanks so much for visiting.
Very thoughtful post. Thanks for sharing. Lisa
Thanks, Lisa. 🙂 Have a blessed week ahead.
Sara,
Here it is, more than a year later and your post is STILL resonating… I’m so glad you shared this at Coffee and Conversation last week. Have a feeling this will be timely for some time to come…
Anyway, we’ll be featuring it at tomorrow’s party!
So glad you’re still writing…and know that you have company along the way!
Sending {{hugs}} and warm wishes for a blessed Christmas and all the best in 2017…
Thanks so much for visiting, Pat. Yes, it’s amazing how much this post is still being shared across the WWW. Blogger burnout is real, and it’s so easy to get caught up in everything that we forget the reason why we began. I hope you have a great week ahead, and thanks so much for the feature.
“God will never lead you to something that will take away from your family.” Yes…this is a beautiful and freeing gauge to use when making any decision. So glad you joined #FreshMarketFriday! Your message matters!
Thanks, Crystal! Yes, that statement still sticks with me, and it’s so important to remember. <3 Blessings!
Thanks for sharing your story with us at Funtastic Friday. It’s so true for many of us.
Thanks for visiting, Sherry! I need to pull this story out and re-read it myself from time to time. 🙂 Have a great week ahead. 🙂