Are You Ready to Quit Quitting?

Comparison will always compromise the calling on our lives.

Are you a quitter? Do you have a history of starting a new diet, fitness program, or volunteer for a committee at church or school only to find yourself making excuses as to why you can’t continue and then ultimately quit?

Would you like tools to help stop this cycle in its tracks?

In her book, 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, Nicki Koziarz takes us through her own personal, relatable story of being a chronic quitter, while also walking us through the story of Ruth. She brings up several traits that show how Ruth’s perseverance paid off and how she was blessed by her willingness to be faithful.

As a busy homeschool mom of 6 (with #7 due within the next few weeks), I was a little nervous about reading this book. On one hand, I listen to godly Christian women who remind me that mothering my children, making my home, and being a helpmeet to my husband are enough; but on the other, as I listen to other equally godly women, I wonder if I should look for an identity outside of my home and family and if by quitting those outside commitments, I’ve failed as a Christian woman.

About halfway through the book, which is an incredibly easy and practical read. I realized that it isn’t being committed to all kinds of outside-the-home activities that’s important, but rather being certain of my calling and only committing to those things that I know God is calling me to.

And now, back to that quote:

Comparison will always compromise the calling on our lives.

In the latter half of her book, Nicki states that if we take away just one thing, this is it. I agree. As I prayed and pondered my own experience, I realized that comparison is ultimately the root of my feeling overwhelmed and ultimately quitting.

Somewhere along the way (or perhaps always there from the beginning), I began doubting my ability to be a godly wife and a nurturing mom. I doubted my ability to measure up to those women around me, who seem to run their homes effortlessly, without conflict or stress.

Then there are the other comparisons:

• Friends who run successful home businesses. If they can homeschool 7 children, while bringing in a 5 or even 6 figure income, then shouldn’t I be able to?
  
• Busy moms who lead groups at church, teach classes in their homeschool co-ops, or manage the “room mom” in their child’s school. If they’re capable of doing all of this while successfully running their homes and taking care of their husbands and children, then is there something wrong with me since taking care of my home is all I can manage? Maybe I need to do more?

So I commit—I try to run a successful home business; I commit to teaching a class (or two); or when someone asks me to volunteer, I feel like I’m not pulling my weight if I don’t say yes. If I don’t step up, who will? 

I’ve realized that when I feel as though I’m not fulfilling my calling as well as I should, I begin to seek these outside-my-calling commitments, thinking that perhaps I’ll finally succeed in something.

It doesn’t take long before I realize I’m overwhelmed and something has to go. I’ve allowed comparison to affect my decision making, and it’s led to compromise.

If I’m not careful, I’ll find myself becoming so committed to these tasks and activities that I begin thinking of ways to delegate, cut back on, or dare I say “quit” my actual calling of being a helpmeet to my husband and a homeschooling mom to my children, including special needs children who require that I stay sharp and focused on what they need in the here and now.

The bottom line is that my family has its unique needs, as do all families. For now, anything that takes me away from my calling is something I need to say no to. With some of my children becoming more independent, there’ll come a time when I can say yes to more opportunities. Do we teach our children outreach and service to others? Yes! We’re certainly not insular.

Whether it’s starting a new diet or fitness program or deciding to move forward within a vocation of being a full-time helpmeet or homemaker, a teacher, a medical professional, a business coach, a business owner, a women’s ministry leader, an outreach ministry leader, etc., let’s first and foremost, be confident that this is where God wants us right now, and be careful to apply the 5 habits right where we are:

• She accepts the assignment of refinement.
• She follows through with her commitments despite how she feels.
• She stays open to the movement of God.
• She gives others what she needs. (The chapters covering this habit convicted me entirely).
• She moves forward in faith.

For more information, visit your favorite bookseller:

5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit

By Nicki Koziarz / B&H Books

You are not made to quit! Join Nicki Koziarz as she identifies five habits to help you keep going no matter what struggles may come your way. 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit will enable you to evaluate the struggles that make you want to quit, cultivate consistent habits to help you progress toward your goals, and receive a fresh dose of perspective from the Bible that will help you develop perseverance.

*A copy of 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit was provided to me by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.