Boys are wild and wonderful. They were born for adventure and to get things done. The wild part can almost drive you crazy and run you ragged just trying to keep them alive. Stitches, playing in the toilet, running into the road, getting stuck high in trees, wrestling–all these things age a mama and keeps her on her knees in prayer. We want to protect and keep them from doing anything that could hurt them, but that isn’t the way God designed their warrior hearts or to help them become men.
The wonderful part helps you endure the wild part. Hugs, kisses, bedtime prayers, pudgy fingers holding yours, hearing I love you all through the day, flowers pulled out of the yard for mom, letters, and pictures from your son saying “I love you!”
A warrior heart is a unique part of being a boy. The part that makes them want to explore lead, protect, fight, wrestle, win…all things that will help boys become men. Traits that they need to succeed in this world.
It seems there is a disturbing trend to make boys less than God designed them to be. The whole culture wants the “warrior heart” part of our sons almost to disappear or be toned down. The excitement and noise of boys are usually frowned upon. It is not something that is embraced. As a former teacher, I found it so sad that boys were many times seen as problems and interruptions to the schedule. I LOVED teaching boys. I loved their excitement. And yes, their movement could sometimes get under your skin when there was work to be accomplished. But their excitement and wonder is catching.
I learned a few things during my years as a teacher and growing up with brothers and so much more as a mom to sons that I hope I never forget. I enjoyed letting my class go outside and do school under the tree. They would be digging in the dirt while listening to the lesson. As long as they could tell me what they needed to, I let them continue. The boys {and the girls} looked forward to the hands-on activity each day.
I believe that many boys get in trouble when they simply need to play and get their energy out.
Boys Need to Move:
Whether at school or anywhere else, boys may struggle to sit still. They need to move! God designed them with lots of energy that will serve them well as they grow into men who will be leaders, husbands, fathers, soldiers and any job they go into. Let them get up and move around. Let them jump or do jumping jacks instead of being hard on them for all their energy.
Boys Need to Play and Use their Imagination:
Have you ever watched a group of boys? They usually end up in a game of cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians or Superheroes. Rough and tumble play is something boys crave and need to do. Studies show that rough and tumble play as a child helps them learn self-control and compassion. Wrestle with your boys and allow them to have some fun with their siblings. With some boundaries and rules set, it’s beneficial to them and their development.
Boys Need to Take Risks:
Our society has changed so much. Things that we did as children would cause horror to others and perhaps us. Exploring on our own, walking to the corner store, riding bikes without helmets, are just some of the things most of us were able to do growing up. It is true that there has been a great moral decline in our society. Sadly, it’s to the point that roaming free as we once did is not safe. Creating obstacle courses in your home and yard is a great way to provide a safe place where your sons can be risk takers and adventurers. Doing this prepares them for the many risks they will experience as they become men.
Boys…they are such a gift. As “boys moms,” we have quite the challenge before us. We need to encourage the special gifts in the warrior heart of our sons. We do this while molding them and shaping them to be strong men who are still tender. Protect their warrior hearts. Fight for them and don’t put them in a mold.
Less stress, more peace.
A simple, 5 day series with clear, actionable steps you can begin today to become a more peaceful and joyful mom.
Mary
Mary lives on the family farm with her husband and 2 sons. She enjoys farm life with her guys, gardening and making memories with her family. She loves to help others learn how to live a healthier lifestyle, learn about natural remedies and how to do business at home. Mary believes that home and family is your first ministry and a legacy that will live on long after you are gone
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Great article. I don’t have climbable trees in my yard so I have been making a cedar log play-fort and obstacle course in my yard for my 3 boys to grow up playing on. Boys should have fun with, work in, and explore God’s beautiful creation.
These are great things to keep in mind, Mary. We have one son and four daughters and finally decided to put our son in Tae Kwon Do so that he could have a physical outlet. I can get caught up in telling him to not rough house and be gentle with his sisters (really, I say that to all five of them), so I’m thankful that he’s found a good activity to do! I’m also very thankful that my hubby tries to do extra activities with just him and my son. Our guy calls it their “boy time”. 🙂
I’m truly thankful for your article! Answered alot of my prayers for my son and I, as I learn how to bring him up in the right way! So thankful to have his Father in his life to teach our son and I things as well!!!
thank you so much !! I needed to hear this and also needed it to print out and send in my 4yr olds folder, back to his teacher. She has something to tell me EVERY SINGLE DAY! Something that LUKE has done or said or maybe just that he can not sit down. I get so sick of this! She is stifling him. And I definitely needed it to be “from someone else”. So thank you deeply!
i am a single parent of 2.One being a 13 yr old daughter and the other a almost 5 yr old BOY.With that being said, It was much different with my girl.She was active BUT in a dancing around princess kind of way.Now my son,Lucas, is NOT in any way a trouble maker,a mean spirited child,but he is forever thinking,trying to figure out,access situations.He is a mover and very much a helper.In public school Pre-K with 20+ kids per class with a bootcamp mentality,rules,structure,time-outs,and every child to be a robot.He is targeted as a disobedient,non-focased child.Everywhere else that we go,including soccer,Children’s Theatre group,Sunday school,even n outing’s with his grandmother and great aunt (who are in their 70’s) his level of energy is a bit challenging but more refreshing than anything.I see a society trying to wimp men down and they start in Pre-K.This is sickening to me and very disturbing.I would like any input on how to handle a situation I have with his teacher right now.EVERY SINGLE DAY she is stopping me at pick-up to “tattle” on Lucas in front of classmates and other parents as they are picking up theirs.Whether it be that he wasn’t fully listening during storytime,or maybe talking at lunch(and where in the social progress of development did talking or communication during mealtime become a bad thing?)How are these kids supposed to learn to engage with our fellow man?!
She is adored by the principle and has so many others “snowed” by her passive aggressive sweetness.Today it was that Lucas isn’t making the effort that she would like to see when it comes to coloring.He just scribbles a little and he is done.So he comes home upset because she does the coloring FOR him.As I understand it ALOT of great artist and craftsman colored outside the line and their “products” were born out of their own creativity.
Done with the ranting…..I would welcome ANY input on how to put this teacher in her place and teach her something…..maybe that these kids do not need her to “mold” them but to just focus on teaching them the basics.This is freakin’ PRE-K.
Great article!!I have 6 boys, 5 nephews, 2 brothers lol so I can attest to the truth of it. My youngest is 7 and will be going into 2nd grade and I have decided to homeschool him and this is one of the bigger reasons. He’s very active, bright, and adventurous. He’s much more grown up in ways because of his older brothers. I know if he gets teachers that do not understand boys that it will be a tough thing for him. 25 kids in a classroom and many of them boys and expectations of stillness for many years to come have led me to the decision, not to mention many other negatives in the public school system compared to 20 years ago when my first one began. Boys need to be boys as much as they can and they will grow up to be much stronger men; leaders in their homes, churches, and communities. God bless!!
So true.. as a mom of six- 2 girls and 4 boys- I couldn’t agree more. I am always saddened when I hear of boys being held back because they can’t sit still or pushed forward so they can stay with their peers even if they aren’t ready. Boys need fresh air and be allowed to get muddy. They do not belong in their rooms with a TV or gaming system. They need to run, sweat and play. When a boy has trouble reading it usually is because they need more time to allow the physical brain connections to develop which happens when they are physically playing.
They need to temper their behavior just like girls do. Respect, integrity and self discipline is something that needs to be a standard and not disregarded as “Boys will be boys.” How many times have you heard that guys need to be in touch with their feminine side? How many times have girls been encouraged to be in touch with their masculine side? Girls and boys are wired different. Shocker! Moms of boys- roll up your sleeves, tighten your laces and get ready for action, which may or may not involve super soakers and pet lizards.
It shocks me at how little time children are given to be outside at school. Movement and play are so critical to their development. And it helps them burn off energy so they can be still and focus better in class. Duh, it is so obvious, but so many people and schools just don’t seem to see it. Thanks for sharing and congrats, you’re featured this week at the #ThisIsHowWeRoll Link Party.
Thanks so much for the feature, Susan. 🙂 That makes my day! Even as a homeschool mom, I have to remember that it’s OK to give my children more breaks to run around and play. I have a few special needs kids and I see great results when they’ve had a chance to jump, spin, run in place, etc.