I see the world different.
No, I don’t have special needs or any known learning disabilities. But I see the world different – because I look at the world through the eyes of a little boy who has Asperger Syndrome.
A little boy who looks “normal” (whatever that means). A little boy who is turning into a young man.
A young man who will see the world different than you and I.
Asperger Syndrome comes in all shapes and sizes, like most things on the Autism spectrum. I find myself blessed knowing that my son falls on the “high functioning” side of Asperger. Looking at him, he appears normal. If you saw him among his friends, he would probably appear fine.
Appearances can hide so many things.
Like the fact that socially, he does better with kids younger than him. While most sixth grade boys are into sports and video games, mine still loves to build with Lego. While other boys his age are starting to be interested in girls, mine still sees them as yucky (and I am not complaining there!).
When he looks at the world, he sees things very black and white. He wants rules – and he desires for them to be followed.
When the norm is broken, it breaks him.
He doesn’t look so “normal” then.
His hands clench tight, His baby blue eyes go to steal grey. He cries. The frustration is evident in his body language and the lack of words.
The older he gets, the more he sees these things.
He also has favorite topics. He would love to chat with you (once he gets to know you), but you will never find him off of the topics that he loves. For my boy, that is cars, tools and building. He appreciate things that are consistent.
When he looks at the world, he often sees chaos.
Oh sweet boy, now that I look through your eyes, I see it too. I see the world the way you see it.
When I think of my son with Asperger, I often thank God for giving him this view on the world. Yes, he sees things different from the “average” person. Yet, I often wonder if it isn’t the way the Lord sees it.
When God looks at our world, the chaos we have created. All because we choose to break the only rule He gave us. It was a black and white objective- “Don’t eat of it, or you will die.” Adam and Eve took of the tree, they ate, and we began to die.
Our worlds lost the black and white, and now we live in an area of grey.
Grey is a confusing color. It is a mixture of black and white.
Our world has turned grey, a mixture of what is right and wrong.
So, when I look at the world, I am thankful for the perspective I gain by looking at it through the eyes of my son. I get frustrated when things that should be right are considered wrong- and the wrong is often considered right. It makes me want to clinch my first and cry.
Instead, I hold fast to the promises that God is in this. That God is working and moving.
That God can turn the grey to white.
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